Another blank canvas for me to fill up with words. Today I was pondering on something. That something is whether or not progress is an illusion. I’ve been thinking that human progress and improvement may actually be all in your mind and not in objective reality. It’s a bit of a cynical perspective which deviates from my usual optimism. This belief system may very well be real to many but nonexistent in others. I was pondering on this idea because I noticed that I work very hard to make progress overall. I do this by doing as many actions as I possibly can. But I took some time to reassess things by asking myself, “Am I really making progress by doing all these actions or am I doing these actions just to make myself feel like I am progressing?”
This reassessment hit me pretty hard because I wonder if I don’t do anything at all, will I still be in the same spot anyway? But then there are those books like The Compound Effect by Darren Hardy which talks about exponential growth by being consistent with small actions and habits every day which brings about hope in such a cynical perspective. One of my biggest fears is probably stagnation and wasting time. I relish heavily in the perspective that everything means something and serves a higher purpose. This belief system has taken me quite far in my journey but there are days like today which fill me with doubt on whether the progress I make is real or fake and merely placebo.
Regardless of whether it is real or placebo, I believe that there are benefits from taking action every day to get closer to where we desire to be. Perhaps the placebo effect helps us in our emotional well-being and motivation which makes it easier for us to keep going. Periods of stagnation seem to be inevitable regardless of how hard we work towards being productive. When I experience these periods of stagnation, I feel my self-worth diminish a couple of levels for not taking “enough” action because I’ve subconsciously linked my performance to my self-worth. This is a bit of a pain and hassle to fix because it is a limiting belief system programmed into me since childhood.
However, when I do accomplish a lot of things, I feel extremely good so it’s actually a rollercoaster of various emotions for me. Something that keeps me motivated and inspired as well is relishing in the fact that I play multiple roles and positions in my life as a one man army. These are the following roles I fulfill all by myself: CEO, Marketing Manager, Holistic Life Design Practitioner, Quantum Mechanics Expert, Metaphysical Specialist, Project Manager, Content Writer, Website Designer & Programmer, High Ticket Closer, Finance Manager, Hip Hop Artist & Lyricist, Sound Engineer, and Reality Transurfing Specialist. That is 14 roles that I play by myself as a Holistic Life Design Practitioner mostly and it is done with a high level of precision. I actually feel very happy that I am able to do so much but it can get exhausting sometimes.
Another thing I do notice is that I definitely have a knack for writing. The words just seem to effortlessly flow on their own and it’s not something I believe I can do all by myself. I feel that it is a God-given talent that I did not develop on my own but rather something given to me through common grace. However, it is only through the avenue of blogging am I really able to write like this because writing on paper or writing somewhere nobody can see is not interesting to me at all. There’s always a couple of daily visitors on this blog which inspires me to keep writing no matter what because my content can potentially help at least one person in the entire world. I guess whenever I do fall into the cynical and doubtful perspective, what I could do instead of staying there is to switch over to the recovery modality which I mentioned in my previous articles.
The recovery modality is useful because it takes away all the pressure to perform a certain way and to give one the benefit of taking time to do whatever is necessary to relax and rejuvenate so that one can come back many times stronger and be fit to do whatever is needed for more and more progress. Even as someone who is quite polished and seasoned in terms of knowledge and personal growth, I still experience moments of self-doubt which can get in the way of my dreams. But because I designed the 7 modalities for Holistic Life Design, I can now make myself immune to these negative energies and adapt accordingly. Self-doubt will not hold me back from being on my way to becoming the best version of myself. Even when I write these articles, there are energy monsters and negative thoughts that say to me “You are not good enough to write”… “It is not professional enough to be shared with the public”… “You are a slave to society..” etc.
Mentally, I just lock these thoughts up into a black box and release it all over to God to take care of and focus primarily on becoming better and adding more value to the world. I might not be the best, but I can at least change one person’s life on the entire planet. This journal series is a way for me to mind dump, vent, & also create articles filled with value that can enhance other peoples’ lives. It is an easy process to get into because I can be vulnerable as who I truly am and also create more clarity in my life while doing so. These journal entries are valuable not only to me but also the people who struggle with many aspects in their lives. And if they don’t find value from the journal series, they can take a look at the How-To and conceptual articles written on the site. There’s a plethora of content to go through.
Finally I want to just say that I am doing the best that I can with the current knowledge base I have. There is unlimited room for improvement and growth and I’m happy it is designed that way.