We go through thousands of experiences every day. When an experience makes us feel bad or is not according to our expectations we call it a negative experience. Most of the times someone else is the reason for our negative experience. The person doesn’t perform an activity or said something like we want him to makes our experience negative.
There are two ways we can deal with this kind of negative experience. First is to understand that the action which is causing the experience is performed somewhere else but the negative experience is within ourselves. If we can see this gap then it is easy to understand that we may not have control on the actions being performed by someone else outside our body but we must have control or at least we must be aware that we are experiencing the consequences of an external event inside us. So, if we really want we can manipulate this experience in our favour because it’s going on in our body or mind. If we are aware we can have full control above our experience. We can choose not to feel negative when something doesn’t happen the way we want it to!
Another way to deal with it, is to understand that we are independent creature. So, someone else doing something and our emotions are being disrupted then it is a sign of slavery! For example- if you are going walking on road and somebody orders you that you can’t walk on this road! Will you return? I think none of us will. Because we are independent and no one can compel us to do something we don’t want to! So how can you allow someone else to compel you feel negative. Your emotions should be in your control not in anybody else’s, isn’t it so.
Sometimes we ourselves are the reason for our negative experience. Only reason to feel negative due to ourselves is when we don’t perform according to our own expectations. Now, please understand when a child learn to walk he fumbles many times. You encourage him when he fumbles , you don’t scold him. Is the same child not within all of us? Think for a while. Yes it is! So, treat yourself as a child ,love yourself like a child and encourage yourself when you fumble! Just remind yourself that journey is more joyful than the destination. Your life will be set.
If the above methods work for you, you are good to go. If not then whenever you fell feel negative due to someone else take him into your imagination and do whatever you want to do with him! You can beat him, scold him, anything that takes the negativity out of you! But there is a Caution don’t do this always try to rely on above two methods because doing something negative with someone will only increase the negativity in long run. You can do it when you don’t have any option or the negativity is too much but only once or twice.