Sometimes I feel self-doubt. It eats away at my soul. But I know that God wants to teach me a lesson. A lesson for me to grow. To grow and align. Align with the highest frequency. I still feel alone sometimes. Sometimes I want to take a break from being this amazing person that everyone looks up to. Sometimes I want to take a break from being a leader. Sometimes I want to stop taking responsibility. Sometimes I want to be free from feeling free. Because being free even has shackles to it and so the next level of free is being free from free. How abstract yet also practical. I can incorporate this. They will not understand. Being free from freedom yet it isn’t slavery but freedom from freedom. No limiters holding me back anymore.
Perhaps my freedom is not really freedom but rather the illusion of freedom and I am still shackled by many things. How do I become free? How can one remove himself from this simulated reality of multiple programs occurring at once? How do I free myself from people who are only thinking of themselves? I understand empowerment. I do feel empowered but sometimes I don’t want the power. I want a break from everything. I want a pause button for life. I want to freeze time and maneuever in a blank matrix. Start from scratch. Everything serves a purpose. My writings aren’t generating millions of views. But one view from God is more than enough for me. Perhaps this is subconscious prayer to God. I love you God.
Can you help me God? I have so much power but I want to use it in a way that isn’t stressful nor full of pressure. Can there be power without pressure? Is Donald Trump really operating calmly when he’s making those speeches? Is it a facade? Why are there masquerades? Why can’t I just be myself without feeling like there’s always another layer of self beneath the self? So much division. So much chaos. Yet so much love. So much compassion. The lens in which we see. We can see. Open our eyes. God is everywhere and he has my back. I don’t have to worry because he loves me so much and he’s got my back. I experienced what Jesus experienced when he went to hell. The exact same feeling. I understand his sacrifice. Please help me.
There’s no one around who understands but you the Most High. You know all of my thoughts. I feel judged. Sometimes I feel assessed in every action I do by the people around me. Free me from these shackles. I have so many wonderful friends who support me a lot. Thank you for those friends. Some of these friends are influencers. They are good friends with me. I still feel unworthy sometimes. So much pain in the past. I’ve helped so many. Will someone help me back? Will you reach out Your hand and help me Lord? I’ve been persevering for so long. People have problems. All of us do. I have problems too. There is no all-in-one solution. I’m trying to create the impossible. You can make it possible because nothing is impossible with you. I love you. Assist me in this process.
Release the tightness, the constriction of energy from my body. All the stress on my shoulders. Please take it all away. I’m tired not physically, mentally, emotionally, nor spiritually. I’m tired quantum mechanically. Perhaps I’m quantum jumping too many times. Do I have to sacrifice something for these exponential gains? What is going to be taken from me? My money is not important to me. I just want to be fulfilled. I just want to relax. I want to take a pause. I want to rest in your refuge. Perhaps I’m forcing some things. The poetic dictions are drawn. I express. No structures. The societal matrix does not control me. I am amazing no matter what. I love myself. I love you. I love him. I love her. I am activated. Turn me off. Put me in a hyperbolic time chamber. Slow down the pace. It’s going too fast. I can’t handle it.
Please handle it for me God. This is my prayer to you. You are my peace. Remove my attachments. I am free. I am freedom. I am free of freedom. I am. I am what. I am, that I am. The money dries up but I still survive. I cannot starve. My abundance is prevalent everywhere. Even in the oxygen. Everywhere you are. I see you. Hi God. Love you. Help me. Expression. Truth. Knowledge. I am in the processing period. Removal of the energetic katana. I don’t like niches. Screw the monetization. I don’t care for it. I will let God do everything. I surrender to the Lord completely. God lives within me. He is healing me constantly. I do nothing. I am being. I am broken. I am restored. I am woken. I am stolen. I am brought back to my home. Thank you for bringing me home. I am home. My home is everywhere. I am at peace. It is a gift. The present is the present. I am evolving. I am unstoppable.
I am asleep. I will fall asleep and hibernate while you utilize my vessel again. I will operate. Let me rest now. Let me be dormant. Activate. Deactivate. Activate. Deactivate. Activate. Deactivate. I’m good enough now. I have accomplished so much. They are all a bonus. Existence is my overflow. I am enough just by being. Thank you God. It is enough. I am enough now. It is my art. I create it. I am picasso. Reality is my drawing pad.
Right now I’m super high & super depressed at the same time.
Don’t know what’s going on but I might’ve quantum jumped too much and the alternate realities are overlapping and collapsing on top of each other.
One view from God is all that matters.
God will rebalance me & put all things in the proper place. Residual energy is now negated.
God supersedes all the universal laws because He designed them.
My DNA is reprocessing the reality without the entity attachments stuck in my solar plexus.
So used to trauma, heaviness, & pain and now that it is gone. The body is confused. My spiritual side is maxed out.
I’m waiting for the body to catch up and stabilize.
I surrender myself completely to God the Most High.
I pray all this in the name of Jesus, Amen.