Today’s topic will on socializing and connecting with others. We will be talking specifically about building propinquity. Propinquity is the closeness we feel with others. I studied some social dynamics a while back and I know that propinquity is quite important in all of ur relationships and connections with people. The fundamentals of propinquity is this. We most expose ourselves as much as possible to people. This doesn’t mean be annoying or anything like that. But be in the presence of others as much as possible. It doesn’t necessarily have to be physical presence either.
You can be texting or chatting on Facebook and propinquity can still be built that way too. So today we will talk about the basics of propinquity as well as how asking questions can help build that as well. So the first step to building propinquity is to be in the other person’s presence as much as you can. This can be done in person but with this whole Coronavirus situation going on, I doubt we can meet many people at all today. And so the alternative as of right now is through online interaction or on the phone.
You can build propinquity by calling people on the phone and talking with them. I have a close friend that I talk to on the phone for about an hour or sometimes even 2 and we became pretty close that way. But the longevity of the call isn’t the only thing that determines the propinquity level, it is also determined by whether or not we ask the person questions. These cant just be any questions either. They have to be questions that really resonate with the other person and to the deepest core of their nature. Asking deep questions that touch other people is almost like reaching the depths of their soul. It’s pretty crazy.
Personally I’ve been incorporating this myself, I have seen very effective engagements with other people and we’ve built a deep connection together. It is a great way to develop your relationship with others further. Asking questions is an art, and it can’t be used carelessly either. If you ask questions and spray them around like machine gun, you’ll sound like you’re interviewing someone and they will definitely get annoyed about that. You must also talk about the things they talk about when they answer your questions. Do that, rinse and repeat.
So you must also know the subjects of the questions you are asking them. It is good to be a well-read and informed person as well. A person who is knowledgeable in multiple topics will always be good in conversation because he / she knows so much and can even teach people things they don’t know. I myself am this kind of person now which is why I can be an online influencer at this current point in time.
To ask the most effective questions, you must really figure out what people really care about. These questions usually are questions such as:
- What are you passionate about in life?
- What are you most interested in?
- What is your current focus?
- What do you do for fun / recreation?
- What are some skills you possess that you really enjoy?
- How do you spend time with friends?
These are just some of the example questions you could ask. There are many more you can think of if you are creative. It is not so difficult because you can ask yourself these questions as well. You can ask yourself, “What would I want someone to ask me?” and those are the questions you should ask someone else too. More than likely, those same people would love to be asked those exact same things.
Anyway, that is all I have to say about this topic for now. Try your best and you will find success eventually. I’m sure of it. Anyway take care!